It is 2014, and in the merry making
of the holidays I didn’t really fully appreciate just how fast the date to move
was approaching. As it is right now I have less than two months. I was trying
to describe how I felt to my sister Beth. I feel as if I have to move backwards
(moving from Sicily to Chicago) to go forwards (England). I have grown
comfortable in calling Sicily home for the last four years even though I have
not particularly liked the way they do things over here, I do enjoy the sense
of culture.
There is a very short list of
friends I will leave behind, which is fine. I don’t make friends very easily (and I don’t have the social
grace to deal with acquaintances) however the friends I do make are lifelong. When I think about it, I get a slight twinge
in my heart even if I can keep a straight face. This lets me know that I more
than likely feel more emotional about leaving Sicily than I care to openly
admit. In my life I have never felt more welcomed, than in the homes of
different ethnicities and different walks of life. Americans in general seem
more closed off, more removed and less friendly.
I am scared. Which is an odd thing,
because I should look at it like I am going home and I don’t. I am scared that the time I spent growing over
here and the knowledge that I have gained will be lost. I don’t want to be “Americanized.”
I feel like being in Europe I have been at the epicenter of knowledge, change
and free/open thinking. I want to bottle the essence of Europe and take it with
me. It is a very bitter sweet moment and the only think for it is to walk
forward, hoping for the best.
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