So much has happened over a short period of time. It is mind boggling and confusing and I have not had time to really analyze how I feel. I know just under the surface is strong emotion and if I were to tap into it....joy, sadness, bewilderment, change. I am not going to lie, its hard so hard. I miss my friends in Sicily, they are my family, my support. I was watching videos I had taken of at my old house (it feels weird to call it my old house) and just how in a matter of a few months, it was all stripped away and replaced with something new and foreign. I was watching videos of my friends and I and just remembering how it used to be. I really like Chicago and my new roommates and I think given time I will find my niche, but right now at this moment, I am homesick, after four years Sicily became my home. I don't associate Minnesota with home as much as I used to.
A question I get asked all the time is why Chicago why not move back to Minnesota. When my family heard that I was moving back stateside, they wanted me to move home and you know what? I just couldn't, I absolutely could not and would not. I would rather live in a strange city with people I barely know and this is why:
When my mother divorced from my stepfather, she moved back home from Texas with five kids in tow and we lived with my Grandparents (which long story short is part of the reason they raised us). She went back to Minnesota and she got stuck and was dependent on my Grandparents for everything. Sad as it is; she never got back on her feet and consequently became the black sheep of the family. The family grew to resent her and would trash talk her (mainly my aunts and uncles) in front of my siblings and I at family gatherings. I am not saying it is fair or right, personally I think it is fucked up but there you have it, it is what it is. We were not allowed to speak up or defend my mother (and there were many times each of my siblings and I tried but it would back fire and we would become the target). I swear we were viewed as the spawn of Satan and bad seed and the evil had to be stamped out of us. Maybe you can now imagine how my family feels about the current life choice I have made. Which adds more incentive for me to stay away.
So this is why I refuse to go back. I refuse to let the family brand me a failure, a word they love to throw around a lot. I refuse to go back and let my Grandparents rule and dictate my life. And as much as I love my mother, I refuse to go back and be her nursemaid. I refuse to go back and depend on my Grandparents because in the golden years of their life they should be allowed to enjoy their retirement and all that they have worked so hard for.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Life Is Certainly Strange.......
I swear I am living in some cheesy chick flick. To start with I lived in Sicily for four years and then move to Chicago and get a studio. I think that sounds more glamorous than it actually is...... To top it off, once I finish school and get some experience in my chosen field (Interior Design) I plan on getting a working visa and moving to London. If I can hack it in Chicago than London should be easier right? As I see it the next three years will by my "training" for London.
Here I Go Again On My Own
It is a bitter sweet feeling to look back and remember all the things that have happened to me in the past two years. If I allow myself to let go and give myself over to emotion I can recall events as if they just happened moments ago. I get emotional when I ask myself if I took all that I could from those special moments in life. It is a tangle of time and emotion and I find myself trying to wade through it, hoping to make sense of it all. It is a hard road that I must travel now and I will have all these wonderful memories to sustain me. I miss my friends something terrible, they are my family. Nobody is immune to time, it marches on and waits for nobody, cherish the ones that love you.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
DNA Results Are In!
A couple months back I did the Ancestry.com DNA test. I am really pleased because what they came back with supports the Genealogy research that I have done but with one added bonus: Native American.
This is something I have been suspicious of for some time and had to take with a grain of salt because most people claim Native American heritage when there really is no evidence to prove so. I had heard some rumors that there was a possibility that we had some Cherokee ancestry; as I had no proof at the time I had to discount it, that is until now.
Awhile back I did a post on my family tree:http://shortsweetstories.blogspot.it/2013/01/modern-day-tess-of-durbervilles.html
Anyways so here are the results. They really are self explanatory.
This is something I have been suspicious of for some time and had to take with a grain of salt because most people claim Native American heritage when there really is no evidence to prove so. I had heard some rumors that there was a possibility that we had some Cherokee ancestry; as I had no proof at the time I had to discount it, that is until now.
Awhile back I did a post on my family tree:http://shortsweetstories.blogspot.it/2013/01/modern-day-tess-of-durbervilles.html
Anyways so here are the results. They really are self explanatory.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
February Movie List
~Dr. Strangelove or How I learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Bomb.
~Citizen Kane
~A Star is Born
~Scarface
~Great Expectations
~Murder on the Orient Express
~A Streetcar Named Desire
~Laura
~Seven Samurai (Shichinin No Samurai)
~The Adventures of Robin Hood
~ My Left Foot (I watched this before but Daniel Day Lewis is just that good!)
~Willow (I've seen this as well, one of my favorites)
~Citizen Kane
~A Star is Born
~Scarface
~Great Expectations
~Murder on the Orient Express
~A Streetcar Named Desire
~Laura
~Seven Samurai (Shichinin No Samurai)
~The Adventures of Robin Hood
~ My Left Foot (I watched this before but Daniel Day Lewis is just that good!)
~Willow (I've seen this as well, one of my favorites)
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Fleming: The Man Who Would Be Bond
Can I just say how excited I am so see this?! Many men have
had the privilege to play bond: Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig, Sean Connery, and
Sir Roger Moore to name a few; each has brought a different twist to how they
portray the character. Now we can add Dominic Cooper amongst the ranks… albeit
he is playing the creator of James Bond, Ian Fleming (if you didn’t know this,
you break my heart). Cut from the upper
crust of society, Ian Fleming was a journalist, author and Naval Intelligence
Officer; which incidentally supplied much of the fodder for his James Bond
novels.
I am very much looking forward to seeing Cooper’s portrayal of
Ian Fleming. Critics will duly note that he does not look a bit like Ian
Fleming, which in all honesty really doesn't matter. What will speak volumes
will be whether or not Mr. Cooper can capture the essence of Ian Fleming, and
relate his story to the audience.
Natal Chart. (Crazy Accurate!)
http://astro-software.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal
Birth Chart
This birth chart shows the positions of the planets of Kaye
The planets in the signs
The position of the planets in the signs of the Zodiac has an influence on the character of the individual and these influences form a large part of the individual psyche.
Sun in Taurus
She is strong-willed and conceited. She has charm, and is tolerant and stoical. She likes pleasure and the good things of Life. Appreciates the Arts.
Weaknesses: obstinacy, laziness. She is too materialistic, and is a snob. She is greedy and proud.
Moon in Virgo
She has a very good memory. Scientific or medical studies preferred above all others. She is humble and moderate, calm and reserved. Emotional discipline. She is willing to help, devoted and gentle.
Weaknesses: servile nature, frequent changes of occupation, gets annoyed, upset, worries. She is too shy.
Mercury in Taurus
She is faithful to her ideas, unchangeable and opinionated, persistent, but discreet. Likes all the pleasures Life can offer. She is sometimes naive.
Weaknesses: stubborn, obstinate, withdrawn. Slow to react.
Venus in Gemini
\"Gift of the gab\", always finds the right expression. A good talker, refined, with a love of the Arts. Two-sided in emotional affairs, flirtatious. Superficial emotions. Countless and inconstant love affairs. Likes to play love games.
Weaknesses: Instability and fickleness in love. Often goes too far in love because of the desire to flirt and play on the other person, who will often suffer - but that is not her problem. Inconstant in love, which is ephemeral: she is unfaithful and can sometimes speak caustically.
Mars in Aquarius
She uses her aggressiveness in a social battle for freedom, or independence or adventure, but always linked to society. Likes adventure, independence. Disturbances, changes, upsets.
Jupiter in Taurus
She likes the good things in Life and knows how to profit from them. A high liver, but perhaps a little too greedy. She controls and administers her affairs, money well.
Weaknesses: she is a little too obsessed by increasing her material possessions, money. Has too great a desire to possess, to be powerful.
Saturn in Capricorn
She is scrupulous, honest, correct, worthy and respectable.
Weaknesses: melancholy, sullenness, disappointment and bitterness.
Uranus in Capricorn
A great battler. She has so much power, that one thinks nothing can defeat her. Her mission in society, in the world means everything to her.
Neptune in Capricorn
She is discerning, wise and sensible.
Pluto in Scorpio
Great sexual activity.
Sign and ascendant
Taurus ascendant Gemini
The planets in the houses
The planetary positions in the houses express the facts relative to destiny.
Sun in XII
Professional success in isolated occupations. Work in laboratories, scientific research, police, information services, hospitals.
Moon in V
She likes pleasures, distractions of all sorts. Emotional life is rich. She loves children, and will have a lot. She will be self-taught.
Mercury in XII
She has difficulty expressing herself, especially when young. Does not talk much, she does not speak for the sake of it. She works in remote and quiet places. She is discrete and philosophical.
Venus in XII
She is devoted to sick or impoverished people. Can be in the medical or social professions. She likes animals, tranquility, peace and solitude. She has secret love affairs.
Mars in IX
Deeply rooted opinions, which she knows how to defend energetically. At a certain moment of life, she can fight for a particular ideal but might abandon it along the way, being less convinced than at the beginning of its virtue or because she realizes that it is a losing battle. Conflict abroad or with foreigners.
Jupiter in XII
She is kindly, and does charity work. She is protected from life's rigors to which she is not immune, but she knows how to cope. She likes working in peace and alone.
Saturn in VII
Relationships, marriage are not likely to be fruitful. She marries fairly late but her feelings are sincere and stable. She is persevering, methodical and persistent, which brings professional success.
Uranus in VII
Her independence does not tolerate marriage very well. If she does marry, she has little chance of finishing her days with the spouse, unless the partner gives her complete freedom and accepts her unfaithfulness.
Neptune in VII
Marries for love, to show the depth of her passion, but has a troubled conjugal life.
The houses in the signs
Ascendant in Gemini
She is sociable, without a doubt a little gossipy. Tends to forget set objectives. Likes to write.
House II in Cancer
Financial success might come late, if it will come in the commercial field.
House III in Leo
She is a very good organizer. Everything is carefully studied, explained and swiftly executed.
House IV in Leo
Conducts family life like a business, rigorously and authoritatively. Great sense of organization, looks after what she possesses well.
House V in Virgo
She does not lack for practical sense to run her business and home: She is ingenious and good with her hands. She is modest and prudish.
House VI in Scorpio
Likes risky professions. Weak point: the genital area.
House VII in Sagittarius
Either marriage with a foreigner, or a marriage abroad, or marriage with a foreigner abroad.
House VIII in Capricorn
Natural death in very old age. Inheritances.
House IX in Aquarius
Goes into one of the professions, is innovative and original. Likes travel, communicating with different people. Long research.
House X in Aquarius
Success in teaching. Likes contact with others, to speak and explain.
House XI in Pisces
Has only a few friends, but with these the friendship is sincere and frank.
House XII in Taurus
Business affairs will have their highs and lows, financial loss can be heavy.
Interplanetary aspects
The interplanetary aspects have a strong influence on the character and disposition of the individual and, consequently, on her destiny.
The conjunction aspect is variable and depends above all on the nature of the conjoint planets.
410 Conjunction Sun - Jupiter
She has high social ambitions, respects justice and the law. She is tolerant, optimistic, kindly. She has every chance for professional success in a strictly legal setting.
357 Conjunction Saturn - Uranus
She knows how to be on top of the situation. She perseveres, is determined but ingenious and original. She is very practical. She proceeds slowly, but is always bound to achieve her objectives in the end.
261 Conjunction Venus - Ascendant
She likes everything beautiful, the Arts, balance and harmony. She is amiable and sociable. She likes entertainment and has a loving nature.
-227 Opposition Sun - Pluto
This aspect means fights and setbacks. She is presumptuous.
209 Conjunction Mercury - Jupiter
She is intelligent, has big ideas: she is tolerant and has a strong sense of justice. She has good judgement, good sense and has her feet on the ground. She has the \"gift of the gab\", and likes to speak, she also likes literature. She is erudite and will normally be successful socially.
-173 Opposition Jupiter - Pluto
She tends to exploit others, and has a doubtful honesty.
95 Trine Sun - Neptune
She has a fertile imagination, is full of inspiration, and very emotional - all qualities that she uses on the professional level. She likes the Arts, beauty.
-85 Square Moon - Saturn
She has changeable moods, a reserved character, is stubborn and lacks assurance. Her relationship with her mother is disturbing and difficult, she has considerable family problems. This is the standard aspect for children who are abandoned or lack maternal love.
-82 Square Moon - Uranus
She has a feverish, non-constructive restlessness. She is too susceptible. While her life is full of change, she is full of hot air. She is eccentric, irritable and stubborn. She has difficulty concentrating on a job. Nervous strain. Her friendships are like her professional and love life - unstable.
-80 Opposition Mercury - Pluto
She is impatient. She likes contradiction and is irascible. Her arguments are noisy and animated.
78 Conjunction Saturn - Neptune
Her plans are realized in a methodical fashion, she works hard to achieve success.
69 Sextile Neptune - Pluto
-67 Square Mercury - Mars
While her spirit is lively, it is also cunning. She often acts without thinking, she throws herself into things and exaggerates - and this can bring certain problems. She is nervous and irascible. She can develop others' ideas, while they hesitate - she never does: she presses on.
62 Conjunction Sun - Mercury
She is intelligent and knows what she wants. Is a good organizer, she likes moving, travel. She likes literature.
-58 Square Mars - Jupiter
She refuses to accept any guidance. She lacks forethought, acts impulsively and sometimes imprudently, which can cause problems. She wants everything yesterday and uses whatever means necessary to achieve her objectives, even if they are dishonest or not very commendable. Her emotional life is fraught with quarrels and sometimes violent conflicts.
57 Trine Jupiter - Neptune
She is very generous and altruistic, helping people in difficulty or sick people. She knows how to listen or, at least, how to give that impression. She is a dreamer, with lots of imagination: she likes the Arts.
-49 Square Mars - Pluto
She is violent, brutal, irascible and succeeds in crushing others, without giving it a thought.
48 Trine Sun - Saturn
She likes to work alone, quietly. She pays attention to detail, is serious, methodical, patient and can take on long, difficult and delicate tasks, and complete them.
21 Trine Venus - Mars
She is amorous, not a peaceful and calm lover but a passionate one with a strong temperament. She is demonstrative in love, and likes healthy pleasures. She enjoys life to the full.
14 Conjunction Uranus - Neptune
6 Trine Mercury - Neptune
She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates.
5 Trine Sun - Uranus
She is above all independent and original. She likes change, reforms, she is allergic to everything routine. She has a strong personality, and has many friends.
5 Trine Mars - Ascendant
Birth Chart
This birth chart shows the positions of the planets of Kaye
The planets in the signs
The position of the planets in the signs of the Zodiac has an influence on the character of the individual and these influences form a large part of the individual psyche.
Sun in Taurus
She is strong-willed and conceited. She has charm, and is tolerant and stoical. She likes pleasure and the good things of Life. Appreciates the Arts.
Weaknesses: obstinacy, laziness. She is too materialistic, and is a snob. She is greedy and proud.
Moon in Virgo
She has a very good memory. Scientific or medical studies preferred above all others. She is humble and moderate, calm and reserved. Emotional discipline. She is willing to help, devoted and gentle.
Weaknesses: servile nature, frequent changes of occupation, gets annoyed, upset, worries. She is too shy.
Mercury in Taurus
She is faithful to her ideas, unchangeable and opinionated, persistent, but discreet. Likes all the pleasures Life can offer. She is sometimes naive.
Weaknesses: stubborn, obstinate, withdrawn. Slow to react.
Venus in Gemini
\"Gift of the gab\", always finds the right expression. A good talker, refined, with a love of the Arts. Two-sided in emotional affairs, flirtatious. Superficial emotions. Countless and inconstant love affairs. Likes to play love games.
Weaknesses: Instability and fickleness in love. Often goes too far in love because of the desire to flirt and play on the other person, who will often suffer - but that is not her problem. Inconstant in love, which is ephemeral: she is unfaithful and can sometimes speak caustically.
Mars in Aquarius
She uses her aggressiveness in a social battle for freedom, or independence or adventure, but always linked to society. Likes adventure, independence. Disturbances, changes, upsets.
Jupiter in Taurus
She likes the good things in Life and knows how to profit from them. A high liver, but perhaps a little too greedy. She controls and administers her affairs, money well.
Weaknesses: she is a little too obsessed by increasing her material possessions, money. Has too great a desire to possess, to be powerful.
Saturn in Capricorn
She is scrupulous, honest, correct, worthy and respectable.
Weaknesses: melancholy, sullenness, disappointment and bitterness.
Uranus in Capricorn
A great battler. She has so much power, that one thinks nothing can defeat her. Her mission in society, in the world means everything to her.
Neptune in Capricorn
She is discerning, wise and sensible.
Pluto in Scorpio
Great sexual activity.
Sign and ascendant
Taurus ascendant Gemini
The planets in the houses
The planetary positions in the houses express the facts relative to destiny.
Sun in XII
Professional success in isolated occupations. Work in laboratories, scientific research, police, information services, hospitals.
Moon in V
She likes pleasures, distractions of all sorts. Emotional life is rich. She loves children, and will have a lot. She will be self-taught.
Mercury in XII
She has difficulty expressing herself, especially when young. Does not talk much, she does not speak for the sake of it. She works in remote and quiet places. She is discrete and philosophical.
Venus in XII
She is devoted to sick or impoverished people. Can be in the medical or social professions. She likes animals, tranquility, peace and solitude. She has secret love affairs.
Mars in IX
Deeply rooted opinions, which she knows how to defend energetically. At a certain moment of life, she can fight for a particular ideal but might abandon it along the way, being less convinced than at the beginning of its virtue or because she realizes that it is a losing battle. Conflict abroad or with foreigners.
Jupiter in XII
She is kindly, and does charity work. She is protected from life's rigors to which she is not immune, but she knows how to cope. She likes working in peace and alone.
Saturn in VII
Relationships, marriage are not likely to be fruitful. She marries fairly late but her feelings are sincere and stable. She is persevering, methodical and persistent, which brings professional success.
Uranus in VII
Her independence does not tolerate marriage very well. If she does marry, she has little chance of finishing her days with the spouse, unless the partner gives her complete freedom and accepts her unfaithfulness.
Neptune in VII
Marries for love, to show the depth of her passion, but has a troubled conjugal life.
The houses in the signs
Ascendant in Gemini
She is sociable, without a doubt a little gossipy. Tends to forget set objectives. Likes to write.
House II in Cancer
Financial success might come late, if it will come in the commercial field.
House III in Leo
She is a very good organizer. Everything is carefully studied, explained and swiftly executed.
House IV in Leo
Conducts family life like a business, rigorously and authoritatively. Great sense of organization, looks after what she possesses well.
House V in Virgo
She does not lack for practical sense to run her business and home: She is ingenious and good with her hands. She is modest and prudish.
House VI in Scorpio
Likes risky professions. Weak point: the genital area.
House VII in Sagittarius
Either marriage with a foreigner, or a marriage abroad, or marriage with a foreigner abroad.
House VIII in Capricorn
Natural death in very old age. Inheritances.
House IX in Aquarius
Goes into one of the professions, is innovative and original. Likes travel, communicating with different people. Long research.
House X in Aquarius
Success in teaching. Likes contact with others, to speak and explain.
House XI in Pisces
Has only a few friends, but with these the friendship is sincere and frank.
House XII in Taurus
Business affairs will have their highs and lows, financial loss can be heavy.
Interplanetary aspects
The interplanetary aspects have a strong influence on the character and disposition of the individual and, consequently, on her destiny.
The conjunction aspect is variable and depends above all on the nature of the conjoint planets.
410 Conjunction Sun - Jupiter
She has high social ambitions, respects justice and the law. She is tolerant, optimistic, kindly. She has every chance for professional success in a strictly legal setting.
357 Conjunction Saturn - Uranus
She knows how to be on top of the situation. She perseveres, is determined but ingenious and original. She is very practical. She proceeds slowly, but is always bound to achieve her objectives in the end.
261 Conjunction Venus - Ascendant
She likes everything beautiful, the Arts, balance and harmony. She is amiable and sociable. She likes entertainment and has a loving nature.
-227 Opposition Sun - Pluto
This aspect means fights and setbacks. She is presumptuous.
209 Conjunction Mercury - Jupiter
She is intelligent, has big ideas: she is tolerant and has a strong sense of justice. She has good judgement, good sense and has her feet on the ground. She has the \"gift of the gab\", and likes to speak, she also likes literature. She is erudite and will normally be successful socially.
-173 Opposition Jupiter - Pluto
She tends to exploit others, and has a doubtful honesty.
95 Trine Sun - Neptune
She has a fertile imagination, is full of inspiration, and very emotional - all qualities that she uses on the professional level. She likes the Arts, beauty.
-85 Square Moon - Saturn
She has changeable moods, a reserved character, is stubborn and lacks assurance. Her relationship with her mother is disturbing and difficult, she has considerable family problems. This is the standard aspect for children who are abandoned or lack maternal love.
-82 Square Moon - Uranus
She has a feverish, non-constructive restlessness. She is too susceptible. While her life is full of change, she is full of hot air. She is eccentric, irritable and stubborn. She has difficulty concentrating on a job. Nervous strain. Her friendships are like her professional and love life - unstable.
-80 Opposition Mercury - Pluto
She is impatient. She likes contradiction and is irascible. Her arguments are noisy and animated.
78 Conjunction Saturn - Neptune
Her plans are realized in a methodical fashion, she works hard to achieve success.
69 Sextile Neptune - Pluto
-67 Square Mercury - Mars
While her spirit is lively, it is also cunning. She often acts without thinking, she throws herself into things and exaggerates - and this can bring certain problems. She is nervous and irascible. She can develop others' ideas, while they hesitate - she never does: she presses on.
62 Conjunction Sun - Mercury
She is intelligent and knows what she wants. Is a good organizer, she likes moving, travel. She likes literature.
-58 Square Mars - Jupiter
She refuses to accept any guidance. She lacks forethought, acts impulsively and sometimes imprudently, which can cause problems. She wants everything yesterday and uses whatever means necessary to achieve her objectives, even if they are dishonest or not very commendable. Her emotional life is fraught with quarrels and sometimes violent conflicts.
57 Trine Jupiter - Neptune
She is very generous and altruistic, helping people in difficulty or sick people. She knows how to listen or, at least, how to give that impression. She is a dreamer, with lots of imagination: she likes the Arts.
-49 Square Mars - Pluto
She is violent, brutal, irascible and succeeds in crushing others, without giving it a thought.
48 Trine Sun - Saturn
She likes to work alone, quietly. She pays attention to detail, is serious, methodical, patient and can take on long, difficult and delicate tasks, and complete them.
21 Trine Venus - Mars
She is amorous, not a peaceful and calm lover but a passionate one with a strong temperament. She is demonstrative in love, and likes healthy pleasures. She enjoys life to the full.
14 Conjunction Uranus - Neptune
6 Trine Mercury - Neptune
She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates.
5 Trine Sun - Uranus
She is above all independent and original. She likes change, reforms, she is allergic to everything routine. She has a strong personality, and has many friends.
5 Trine Mars - Ascendant
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)